The Perfect Match

Finding Mr. Right

I remember sitting in my high school seminary class wondering who the person was I was going to marry and what was he doing.  I wondered if he was on a mission. I was taught to look for specific qualities that I would want in a spouse. I made a list of things I hoped to find.  We can do things with good intention but that are not healthy and sometimes destructive.  Elder Bednar taught so perfectly how to find the right person. "As we visit with young adults all over the Church, often they will ask, “well, what are the characteristic I should look for in a future spouse?” As though they have some checklist of, “I need to find someone who has these three, or four, or five things” And I rather forcefully say to them, “You are so arrogant to think that you are some catch and that you want someone else who has these five things for you! If you found somebody who had these three of four or five characteristics that you’re looking for, what makes you think they’d want to marry you?” The “list” is not for evaluating someone else-the list is for you and what you need to become. And so, if there are three primary characteristic that you hope to find in an eternal companion, then those are the three things you ought to be working to become. Then you will be attractive to someone who has those things. ...You are not on a shopping spree looking for the greatest value with a series of characteristics. You become what you hope your spouse will be and you’ll become what you hope your spouse will be and you’ll have likelihood of finding that person.”1

The only list we should have is the list we want to become.  The perfect match is who we want it to be. We naturally spend time with others that have qualities that we are familiar with.  The perfect match will happen when two imperfect people choose and eternal marriage, and covenant with God to follow Him first. God will always make us more than we are.  God will also make our marriage more than we can as will follow his diving pattern of His teachings and purposes. 

1 Hawkins, J.H., Dollahite, D.C., Draper, T.H., Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspective, Chapter 1, p.6

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